in gravyland

Latest Effort for News - Today

(By now you will realise (depending on which post you started at) that I am repeating myself here. Remixing my own life. Think Run Lola Run (which they are doing a live-soundtrack performance of in the Brighton Festival soon.. wwoo).
…..

I think I need to try (yet again) to put some words down. Here goes version 4!

When people used to say? “Gosh you are brave, moving country like that.” I kind of smiled blythely and thought “Ooo, yes, aren’t we.” I thought we had a pretty good idea of what was involved, physically, emotionally, financially. And I guess we did have a fairly good idea - in theory. The reality has been rather more difficult, and it aint over yet.

Basically, it has been a huge thing. The first three months Gra was job hunting. Ouch. Loads of fun stuff too though.. getting to know Brighton, the Laines, the villages, the people.. we got over to Lake Como (Rob’s pad right on the lake and Lisa’s family), France (Jack & Penny’s house near Toulouse) for our wedding anniversary, seeing Slava’s Snowshow for the first time, some mad stuff during the BRighton Festival (eg. Japanese sit-down puppet show comedy).

Continuing to focus on the positives (I’ll save the moaning for later), the countryside around here is so so beautiful. Like a dream. Like a movie. We were out yesterday for UK Mother’s Day visiting Wakehurst Place (Kew of the South). A dream. The older I get, there more I feel it in my bones, in my waters, that I am born to pray at the alter of Gaia. There are particular landscapes, particularly with vista and dimension and water, that reeeeally do it for me. I’m remembering driving through Arnhem Land with Mum & Dad (just before he died). River snaking through sub-tropical desert. And here in the South Downs - something else again. Telly-tubby hills, incredibly beautiful, old villages, winding roads, Cat in the Hat or Nick Cave blaring, endless conversations about this and that, a million questions. Yes indeedy, nothing like a Sunday drive.

I could write forever about the countryside, about the joys of a fire in the garden on a brisk night, about Buddhafields camping, about the excitement around us looking for our first camper van - anticipating the first flush of spring adventures. Easter just around the corner, with a trip to the West well on the cards. Eden Project maybe.

I felt like a cartoon Mum going to a National Trust garden on Mothers Day, after a nice lie-in and breakfast in the bath. Wiv me box a chocs in hand and a quick stroll through the plant section of the massive gift shop on entry, the picture was complete. Found a rose Bea and I used to walk past on our walk to school back in South Fremantle. Abraham Darby. Been looking for one for ages. We made a geocache treasure hunt, which the locals can try out, and it snowed!! As it it did again last night.

So there I was at the end of a long drive through Sussex and a lovely day out, wandering back up the path with my rose in hand, thanking Gra and Bea for a very special Mother’s Day, chuckling at the wholesome Englishness of the picture… despite the hangover from drinking and dialling to Oz and USA until 3am after a night out in Brighton with Gra.

So Brighton suits us well. Primarily for the countryside and the fairly eclectic mix of people you find in such a place. It has great potential for Gra to work from here, considered by many as the new media / internet hub of the UK. That mad virtual world Second Life has just opened their second office here - the other one’s in San Fransisco.

So I guess we have probably found the right place to live a far as the UK goes. We still love going up to London to see the mates there - to get an Aussie fix, as we haven’t found any in Brighton yet. And let’s face it London is amazing. If Gra wasn’t still having to work there in the boring bank job, we would probably go more often. It’s only 45 mins away on the train - but 1.45 door to door for his morning commute. Madness!

It’s been a rude shock to go from Daddy being around, working part-time and flexible the rest of it - to some weeks feeling like we are only seeing him at bedtime M-F. Weekends become a sacred and intense time to make it all up. At least we have developed a new insight to how so many people live, and Friday’s mean more than ever before. We loved going off on our first paid holiday together ever though, and are making the most of the annual leave. Salary sacrificed to get an extra two weeks, thank fuck.

In many ways perhaps Gra’s new job has had the biggest impact on us all, bless him. He really is a hero for going out there 5 days a week to bring home to bacon. I think what keeps him sane is that Scouta.com is going really well. This is the social, creative, connected, humane internet venture he has been wanted to create for years. It’s still got a long way to go, but thanks to a great idea and an inspiring match between Gra and the awesome CEO Richard Giles, they have a lot to work with. It’s got real potential to help people get the most out of the internet and connect with like-minded people. Right up our alley! We’ve already attracted the first round of development funding from an excellent investor who is letting us maintain creative control. The next round, all going well, should secure Gra a fulltime position where he can work from home again or get a little office with a gang of similar sorts down the hill in the Laines. We shall see… Workwise, England definitely seems to be Gra’s kind of place. It has been hard not falling straight into the kind of money and freedom he had before (not by a long shot), but we are managing to pay the bills.

He is such a talented, beautiful man. I so hope this works out for him (and us) because we miss him. And he has so much to give the world with his vision of interconnectedness and making computers friendly, useful and fun.

Now what about me, you might ask. Being fairly new to the job of School Mum, I had thought, naively, that when they got to school you had all the freedom in the world. Which I guess you do, relatively speaking. Other than needing to find work that, ideally, finishes by 2.45pm and gives you 12 weeks holiday a year plus let’s you take time off whenever you or your child is sick. And let’s face it, it’s been rather a long time since I held down a job job hasn’t it. Anita Roddick has not managed to find me yet for the offer of a part-time dream job, so I am back into what I do best. Coming up with ideas on how to make the world a better place and attempting to manifest too many of them.

The year started with a personal confidence boost on the £ front with me earning my target for the year by negotiating the sale of freo.com, which we have had for nearly 10 years. That meant we could get through Christmas, get to Australia for Mum’s 70th birthday and now - get into the market for a wee campervan. So that made me feel a lot better about where most of my time has been going lately… have finally summoned up the courage to go back to study formally - at the University of Sussex. Began a brand new MA in Person-Centred Education. Education for human becoming, not just concrete learning. Part-time over 2 years. It’s a profound experience and begins with the process of reflecting and writing a learning biography. How have you learnt? What have you learnt? With only 5,000 words to contain it, there is a real job to do in focussing it. I’m decided to look through the lens of curiosity.

Have been documenting the journey on my blog at www.barkingowl.com/learning which in itself has been a reflective and creative process. We have been really lucky to get the support of the Guerrand-Hermes Foundation for Peace to co-create the MA. They have given the three of us in the first intake a grant towards fees and a great deal of extra involvement. It’s feeling a little more like the ideal of an Oxbridge programme and is actually a very open thing. No filling of empty vessels around here. I think the hardest thing is not knowing where it is is going, plus the work itself and opportunity cost. I am not likely to embark on a traditional teaching career, as tempting as that sometimes seems, so I have to keep trusting my instincts on what will come from it all. If you are interested, do check out the blog. It is a fascinating course. To give myself the chance to really think deeply about a subject I am so passionate about is a joy. There is a meditative space I get to that flows and flows.

Plus I am… helping on Scouta (PLEASE join up, spread the word, interact, give feedback and play!), doing some business coaching, planning some practical classroom experiences (teaching blogging for personal and work life, forming conversations with yourself and your customers, friends, constituents, stakeholders etc, writing for human becoming!), and facilitating the creation of a learning community of alternative schools in the Brighton/Lewes area (a grant in the pipeline from Guerrand Hermes for this).

Not to mention what all us super mums do, with the day-to-day organisation of a family, Bea’s activities, social life etc. All takes a lot longer in a new place. So much to find out! The simplest thing can take twice as long just because you are having to find your way around a new place, new systems, new relationships.

It’s been 10 months. We arrived mid-May 2006.

This is getting a bit long now, so I’m going to summarise things a bit. You can also check out the blog Gra has been maintaining called www.gravyland.net which Bea and I are hoping to get to if I can keep her off Barbie.com when we sit down to it!

Basically, we love it here, but it is expensive, tough making new friends and contacts all over again (think Fremantle, Margaret River, back to Fremantle, now here), and all the the other paperwork stuff that comes with moving. Knowing where and when to buy a house does our head in, but we have decided to take a break from thinking about it while the weird market does whatever it’s going to do and we get a better feel for how long we want to be here. At this stage we are saying three years minimum, which make a lot of sense. Then we shall see. Conversations about secondary schools also does my head in, and makes me think of Oz as a much better option. But one step at a time please!

We have met some brilliant people, there’s no doubt about it. But we gave up a lot too. Bea misses Jasmine so much of course, and we all miss our family and friends. But in some ways these relationships have deepened through a change of dynamic. I feel closer to Mum now than ever before. Her 70th was such a lovely occasion to celebrate a wonderful woman. My MA has forced me to reflect on a lot, one part of which has been my inheritance through Mum - books, curiosity, music, etc.

This summer we aim to take the camper to Northern Spain for a jaunt around Bilbao (Guggenheim), San Sebastian and the Pyrenees. I would love to do a weekend or two somewhere exotic with girlfriends, when weekends stop seeming so bloody precious en famille.. like any day now! And we will of course be going back to the Buddhafields for camping. The Bunters are coming out to stay, the Brighton Festival goes mad in May, the van will be calling for all sorts of jaunts as the weather improves and yum yum.. many other plans besides. Really need to make the most of being in Europe as this was one of the major reasons for moving here. Loving the connection with all things European.

The Bea Bopper is beautiful. Very alive, bright, reading like mad (just starting to tackle chapter books on her own), still film crazy .. loves Mirazaki (Totoro, Spirited Away) and has a sweet friend at school who does too. We started working on a fantastic film script together on the weekend that came out of a conversation with Lisa about when go and kidnap her to get her back. Lisa has been living with us for 6 months and comes from Northern Italy, near Lake Como. She is a total darling. HAs brought so much into our lives, but is going home soon (6 month aupair position). We will have a German girl called Karen living with us from August for even longer, and she is also a very special young woman. Oh, also need to to tell you about Max the Cat. Wow. Super affectionate. Feel much more complete as a family with him. But still hoping for another child this year. The house we found is superb. Big, old, full of character, great garden, great area.

But back to Bea. She is a handful, no doubt about it. Yes yes, just like her parents. But we don’t need to hear it. She has made a new friend recently who is even more spirited and strong-willed and passionate than she is, which was a laugh and relief to see. But there is still an inner stillness that see finds, and so much love and sweetness. Her enquiring mind gets a great deal of stimulation through the lives we lead and school itself, but she does spend quite time on her own and is not at school to chill out on her own in the book corner whenever she gets the chance. As Donny would have said, “she’s a real unit”. Such an imagination!

So much has happened in a year!

Much love, as always

Libbles

xxx

Next try - end of January 2007

Dear Framily (friends & family)

I guess this must be the second or third time I have sat down to share our latest adventures through life with you. Seeing as we will soon be back in Fremantle/Perth for Mum’s 70th, we thought “Right.. This is it… if we don’t do it now, it’ ll never happen.”

So where to begin… it’s been 8 months now. We arrived into our new European > UK > East Sussex > Brighton/London > Friar Crescent/Patcham life on 16 May 2006. I remember doing the zoom in thing with Google Earth before we moved, and somehow this made it all feel a little more tangible back then.

You probably heard about the first week or two in the bedsit, then are very good fortune to find the house we are now in.. 33 Friar Crescent. In terms of neighbourhoods, we could not be happier. As life zooms us in to the minutia of everyday living, we get to know the streets and people immediately around home and school better than anywhere else.

Zooming right in, I guess what I see when I open my eyes each new day is where it all begins.. There is a lovely big window looking out from the second floor to a sky, ever changing.

This morning Bea was transfixed by the reflection of the “rainbow” sky in the mirror.. Pinks, greens, grey blues and yellows all diffused through an ‘altostratus duplicatus’ cloud form, I’m guessing… (Pretor-Pinney, G (2006) The Cloudspotter’s Guide - a gift from Gra to a cloud geek from way-back) :-)

Yes, the English weather is ever changing and always a jolly good way to make conversation with the natives.

Last week, the same window revealed Narnia in our back garden. It snowed!! Unusual for the South Coast. Woke up at 5.30am with Gra. Wow. So beautiful and still. No one around. Bea woke at 7.30.. an even thicker carpet of snow… kept rubbing her eyes. “I cant believe it Mama. Am I dreaming.” then ran straight to the wardrobe to see if she could get through the back. “It’s 0 degree’s isn’t it Mama.” Then we went tobogganing on the playing fields behind the house (thanks to eternally-kind neighbours giving us the gear and the good oil on slopes). No school that day…

When I expressed our delight to the school Mum’s, very sweetly, many said their child had been talking about how special the snow would be for Bea as a newcomer to the wonderful world of white. More on the Dharma School later, but suffice to say it is a very intimate community of 75 or so children and their families

I could go on for ever. Suffice to say I am one step closer to realising by true pagan nature. When I got to university late, my excuse was “As a pagan, I have to say that being here is like working on Christmas Day. It’s just not on!”

But how could I not! A leading professor of philosophy, a post-doctoral research fellow (both from the Guerrand-Hermes Foundation for Peace) there to provoke and inspire just three of us on ways of thinking, as people, and as educational researchers. So a segue now into what’s keeping me out of mischief. I have begun a Master of Arts in Person-Centred Education at the very special Sussex University. Two years part-time, with a grant for a good chunk of the fees and a huge amount of extra support and guidance from the GH Foundation for it to be offered in a person-centred way.

The first stage is to reflect, research and write a personal learning biography, with the intention being to draw out the personal questions that will motivate the research work and dissertation to follow.

Loads of ideas and much being written on my blog at www.barkingowl.com/learning for those interested in such things. It would be great to have some of you leaving comments and helping me reflect as things move along. A key element of person-centred learning is the centrality of community. And I guess you are that for me in a big way.

Mum was here when I had to decide whether to apply for a position or not. It turned out that one of the key philosophers inspiring this work back in the 1920s was a beautiful Scotsman and Quaker called John MacMurray. When I found out my grandmother Pam and then Jen been reading him in the 70s, the strong connection I was feeling with the course made even more sense. Then there are many connections with the Summerhill school, which our Lance Holt School was largely inspired by.

Have even managed to earn some decent income by selling freo.com, with some business ventures and educational projects in the pipeline too…

Now getting to the really yummy stuff. Our Bea… well. She turned 6 on the weekend and celebrated in style with a Disco Party at the school. She has come such a long way from the spirited and, let’s face it, rather challenging young child that she was. Her sense of wonder and delight at the world is a marvel to share. She is still a very affectionate and loving child and, well, she’s going really well. I guess with only one (so far) she gets her fair share of attention, and thanks to the divine Lisa Scelsi (au pair), there has been enough time and energy and love to go around even with Gra’s busy workload.

Weekends we will often go into the countryside, which is very close and very beautiful. There are a series of photos from life over here up at flickr. Go to …. and hopefully this will give you a good sense of what it’s like over here.

I guess what they won’t show, is all the boring, stressful stuff involved in moving country. All the paperwork, cost, fear, fights and foulness. Fortunately, that’s the exception not the norm and is a hump we are largely over now.

This is no doubt an expensive place to live, and school fee’s doesn’t help. But we have been really lucky with the house - 4 bedroom, two storey Art Deco with lots of original features. Lovely proportions and a bargain according to the locals. We feel surrounded by nature and it is very peaceful, yet with bustling, groovy Brighton just down the road, and that very unique school just a 5 minute drive away.

A couple of weekends ago, just before the snow, we were sitting by a fire in the garden cooking trout and sweet potatoes! The stars were bright and clear, nary a breeze in the air. Very relaxing. Within minutes we were scarpering in next door to Ken & Jane’s to dry out by their (far more sensible) in door fire.

I have never felt closer to nature than living here. Within the garden, within the countryside. After dropping Bea at school this morning, I nipped off to Ditchling Beacon to take in the Telly Tubby hills and ocean off in the distance. Just breathing it in. Rather necessary after the birthday party yesterday. Phew!

Gra Gra will relate the trials and tribulations of his adventures in the working world. From my perspective, I can see him working harder than he has ever done before, at least in the 10 years we have now been together. It really is a hard slog, into London with UBS for 5-mornings a week. And the money only just covers our bills with a little left over for saving and holidays. So, thank goodness for what is coming up on the horizon (we hope!) with scouta.com - which you are welcome to check out and subscribe to try out. (Just let us know and we will get you included in the secret Alpha testing). One way or another, we are looking forward to 2007 bringing less stress, more time and more money! It was a great idea for Gra to salary-sacrifice two weeks for the extra holidays, and he/we are going to need ever moment of them to recuperate and replenish.

Questions of life/work balance and what really matters for now - and for the future - don’t seem to have gone away yet. I guess they are some of the big ones throughout life, and especially when you have small children. But I do often wish we could have the economic times our parent’s lives through. I know they made do with less in some regards, but seem to have had a whole lot more in others. I look back over the abundance of our childhood.Ahh nostalgia. Seeing as I am going to be 40 next year, I guess I’m allowed a bit of it!

Of course travels beckon, even more so with so many options to choose from. I can’t believe we were even considering nipping to Goa for New Year with Pammy and Co. What a place. Gra and I got over to Jack and Penny’s fab house at www.negreval.com (an hour from Toulouse airport) for an anniversary weekend, which was rather lovely, sunbathing nude in the sun, just inside the frenchdoors in October.

There is no question that global warming is escalating. The daffodils are already up! This is unheard of. Hardly mass peril, but a sure sign in our little world that things are not quite right in the weather department. Someone needs to invent a word for: the feeling of enjoyment tinged with real dread you get, when walking around on a sunny day in November (Northern Hemisphere).

There will always be trips to the continent and further afield.. as this is a large reason of our wanting to be here, but the plan is to buy an old VW campervan soon and get around that way. We are starting to think about taking 3 months off sometime in the next few years for an extended camping trip around Europe. But first things first, and this summer we are looking forward to exploring parts of England a bit better, doing some music festivals (possibly performing at Glastonbury!), returning to be with our Buddhafields framily on retreat again, and perhaps getting over to France or Greece. Or whatever there is time for… roll on self-employment!

Two other dreams starting to emerge are.. sailing and home ownership. All the elements - water, air, earth and fire. The original idea of building a place is still with us, but not sure where or when. Might have to start out locally then see how things go… difficult questions, still unresolved. The sailing thing is a little more straight forward and starts simply with getting some seatime with the aim of Gra and perhaps me too getting the Day Sail Skipper qualification that allows you to charter a yacht. From there, the Mediterranean could be calling! We shall see… just want to feel that the Present is connecting with the Future and that dreams can turn into plans. Goal setting sees to be a very useful way to work and I know many people who have found great security and happiness from it.

Back to the Bea Bopper… hopefully you will see for yourself if you can make it to a BBQ in Baker’s Square Hamilton Hill on Saturday 17 January (no Val & Rob, we are not expecting you, I think we will have to come to you next won’t we! No there’s a novel way to spend New Year’s…).. but she has long hair now, comes up to … and is just as beautiful as ever (says her Mummy & Daddy). She is going really well at school and perhaps unsurprisingly, will often be found reading quietly in the book corner.. when she is not running around like a chook in the beautful big garden with all her mates. As a small community, they all play together and look after one-another which is really sweet to see. So yes, Bea is now reading fluently to herself and us. In terms of chapter books, she is LOVING Swallows and Amazons, which we are reading to her, plotting and scheming piratical adventures of our own on the low or high seas…

We have had so many visitors. Grandma and Nanny, then Howie, Kath & Ayesha over the summer, Londoners regularly, Buddhafields people from all around, Lorraine has just been to stay (very pregnant!) for a few days of clucking together, Peter Morris… wow. That’s quite a few isn’t it.

Dear, dear people (January 2006 version)

Well here we are, living in Brighton. Where can I start.

I’m sitting here in the dining room / office. French doors look out onto a wet, green garden. Over summer, we had many happy times out there. Breakfasting, lunching and even sleeping in it’s verdant lovliness.

So many visitors! We barely had time to unpack. So blessed to be able to arrive in a new country, new life already knowing some special folk and soon some brand new friends too. Then being able to introduce them to our Mums having followed us over just a few months after arrival!

The first three months, Gra was on the job hunt and there is no denying, it was a gruelling and scary time for us. I’ll say it once, and then I won’t go on about it. This is a REALLY expensive country. Three months with rent, school fees, living expenses and no income. Ouch. But he come through with the goods and got into, bizarelly it seemed, a bank job. Gra’s going to write too, so he will fill you in on all of that.

From my perspective, we went from the sublime to the ridiculous. We had no idea how easy we had it with self-employment all those years of early parenting. Now Daddy wasn’t getting home until 7.30 most nights and we very rarely see him in the morning. Wow. Not a plan for the long term. Fortunately there are other possibilities in the pipeline.

We are in awe of Gra as he gets up and rides that train to a healthier bank balance and more marketable CV. Even though he is far more capable of doing it than I ever would be, the novelty is certainly starting to wear off. On the bright side, weekends and holidays have become ritualised packets of familial abundance in a way we have never really experienced before. The first week he took off was shortly after starting (heck, it was summer! And as all Northern folk now, you just gotta make the most of it.) As we drove off again to The Buddhafields (family-friendly camping retreat in Somerset countryside), we chuckled knowing we were still being paid - rather than hoping the invoices had gone out on time.

So, big changes all around.

(ends there…)

Love - Libs xxx

The Big Move North

Helloooo.. I have started several letters to friends and family since moving to the UK, most unfinished. So here’s a bit of remix culture. I will start with the oldest version I can find, then just add them one after another, unedited. Different takes on the same event, Different flavours. Love to hear from you. Bea coming soon, and more photos, but check out Flickr for a start - I am MsLiberty on there, funnily enough.

Rambling - Beachy Head

We spent the middle of the day having a ramble followed by a pub lunch. And what a day. A full day of sunshine and blue sky and not a hint of a cloud at all. Now this is more like it.

We headed off for Beachy Head - a little east of Brighton on the coast, and parked the car at the Tiger Inn. Then we struck out for Beachy Head itself, missed the track, ended up on the road, walked down there a bit, back into a field and then up onto the proper path. By then it was time to head back to the tiger to get a lunch order in before 2pm.

Magic.